What I Need to Hear From You

You need to know I bless you to let go.

 I bless you to move on. 

You need to know that I no longer want to hold you down,

 en-cage you in my insecurities.

I release you to roar with all your might,

 no matter how much I fear the sound.

 I bless you to be you, 

to fight for your dreams, 

to run with your ambition, to love without condition. 

I want you to know that you are enough, 

you have always been enough. 

You need to know that I hope for your success. 

I believe in your potential. 

Know that no matter where you are in life 

you can always find a home in my soul. 

I will always love you,

 the way I express that love may change

but I love you,

 regardless of time, or distance. 

I will never forget what has passed,

 but I will also never stop being excited for what the future holds.

 I look forward to reading the rest of your story

 and I release you to write it 

with all the wild vigor you have bottled in your soul, 

one-two-three, go!

Slow Dancing

 

we were a fire hazard

somewhere between here and there

our wires got crossed

and we became an

 elegantly twisted pending disaster-

we could only slow dance in a burning room so long

before our lungs were filled with smoke,

the roof caved in,

and we collapsed.

 

when I wake up everything has changed,

I can breath again-

 

 you are the only one who will ever truly understand- value

what I lost in the fire,

for you too rock-stepped

 to the beautifully tragic chaos-

 

 

slowly I begin to accept talking to anyone else about it

doesn't really help.

I won't see the same relief,

or mirrored pain,

in anyone's eyes but yours.

 



Peak-a-boo

Okay, I've never done this before but I think I'm going to start doing it every once and a while...

 'a compilation of random thoughts and musings'. And who knows maybe you'll find some inspiration in these simple things too!

 "How I miss those days where we would sit… and just... talk. How I remember when you told me I was your best friend. But now it's like we don't know each other. What happened, where was I, when the whole change occurred? Was I blind? Or just insanely in love..."

{Photocredit:theballerinaproject}

I’ve cussed, I’ve prayed, I’ve said goodbye
Shook my fist and asked God why
These days when I’m missing you this much
I drive your truck
I roll every window down
And I burn up
Every back road in this town
I find a field, I tear it up
Til all the pain’s a cloud of dust

Yeah, sometimes I drive your truck.

   

{PhotoCredit:DTW}

If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that!

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out!

{PhotoCredit:DTW}

 “We’ve done the research, and we’re not related, and we’ve never dated, and we are never, ever going to! What are the odds of finding someone who can finish your sentences, who will let you cut in line. Who knows not just to lend a hand or and ear when you need them to give you their spine. Someone who is woman enough to be best man at your wedding, who will keep every secret, save every letter, tell you how you really look. Who will remember every single one of your birthdays, without checking facebook. What are the odds of finding someone who knows your poetry off by heart, who won’t freak out if you’re hanging out and accidentally fart. Yeah… and if you have a date and you need to look fresh, I will lend you, my hair products. And if you don’t have a date and you need to look fresh I’ll let you borrow, my cousin. I will always save you a seat. I will always pick you to be my partner, even though you are terrible at handball. When the fire takes all you have my home will be your home. When you are old and can no longer remember my face, I will meet you for the first time again, and again, and again. When they make fun of your accent, I will take you swimming; because we all sound the same underwater. When Ellis Island tries to erase your past I will call you by your real name. When they call your number for the draft, I will enlist to fight beside you and I will march from Saloma to Montgomery and back, as many times as it takes. We will stand together against the hoses and the dogs, because it didn’t start with us, it started with Lennon and McCartney. It started with, Thelma and Louise, Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin, Bert and Ernie, Abbot and Costello, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Peekachoo and Charlazar , Spongebob and Patrick… and they can tell you what a miracle this is, they could tell you how rare this is, but they could tell you how rare friendship always is. The chances are slim, the cards are always stacked against you; the odds are always low. But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you and I choose both. I want to share every single one of your sunshine’s and save some for later; I will tuck them into my pockets so I can give them back to you when the rains fall hard. Friend- I want to be the mirror that reminds you to love yourself, I want to be the air in your lungs that reminds you to breathe easy. When the walls come down, when the thunder rumbles, when nobody else is home, hold my hand, and I promise, I won’t let go.” {Sarah Kay and Phillip Kaye- ‘Origin Story’}

Physical Theater, this music video is actually half decent, the choreography is fantastic, kinda impressed not going to lie. And on top of that the song's been on my mind lately.

And eventually I came to that point...

{Or if you're lucky you have both.}

"You were even beautiful telling me goodbye, maybe my version of the truth is just a lie. What does it matter? What does it matter? A million perfect memories go rushin' through my brain. Every time I smell October you're standing in the rain, when you look over your shoulder, baby you can choose to remember me however you want too, but that's how I'll remember you." 

{David Nail- 'That's How I'll Remember You'}

When I say, "I'm over it," what I mean is, 

"I'm used to it. I'm okay with it. I spent so much time fighting it only to realize there was nothing I could do to change it, so I accepted it and I’m finally happy again.”

 Like a patient with a missing limb if you ask them,

 “how do you function with only one arm,” they would respond,

 “I have just gotten used to it.” 

But if someone came along and tried to give them a prosthetic arm, they would take their time to think about it. They would ask questions and maybe try out several different "new arm's." Eventually they would find a prosthetic that works well, that they love. But there’s still always going to be that knowledge of what a real arm felt like, and even though time will erode away that memory, as they get used to living with the prosthesis, nothing will ever be the same as their real arm. 

Even though they would never ask their original arm to be sewn back on, they know it has remained severed for a reason and it would be incredibly dysfunctional to have re attached, the knowledge of how wonderful a real arm is will always be in the back of their minds. 

"Some nights I wake up knowing he is anxious, he is across the world in another woman’s arms and the years have spread us like dandelion seeds sanding down the edges of our jigsaw parts that used to only fit each other. He drinks from the pitcher on the nightstand checks the digital clock, it is 5:00 am, he tosses in sheets and tries to settle. I wait for him to sleep before tucking myself into elbows and knees reaching for things I have long since given away."

{Sarah Kay- 'Private Parts'}

I only fight with people that are worth my time to fight with;

 to be frank in reality you aren't worth my time. 

But trying to tell the canvas of my heart that the artist who drew that huge line across it,

 isn't worth arguing with is another story.

Wonder-filled Wednesday

{photo credit: The Ballerina Project}

Today is both my younger brothers birthday, and my parents anniversary ... what does that add up to? CRAZINESS! So that's really all the time I have for today, promise to write more later.

~Adrianna

So well I am running around buying presents, going out for sushi, and doing all the things that my parents usually do so that they can take a vacation for their anniversary... you can enjoy this!

Royal Wedding



{Photo Credit: That 1960's Chick}

                        Well, it happened! They kept the world waiting for eight years, and now it will go down in history as one of the most elegant, intimate, and beautiful weddingsever. And as I stayed up all night and watched the whole affair unfold  on my TV screen I couldn't help but feel an immense sense of excitement, and hope. Excitement for Brittan, for the people, for the Windsors, of course for Will and Kate (whom I should probably refer to as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge now), and even for Canada. I was filled with hope for not just for Brittan, and Canada, but for the entire world and its future. Many people laughed when I told them I was planning to stay up all night to watch the posh affair and exclaimed how silly it was for people to be all worked up about the marriage of two people who have no direct link or effect on their lives. However I can tell you that though I have no direct political or other connection, correlation, or link (besides being Canadian) with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, the Royal family or the Middleton's, I felt as though I did as I watched the Middleton's hand over their daughter not only to William but also to the entire country and the Commonwealth.   

{Photo Credit: That 1960's Chick}

                 And probably like every young female who watched the wedding, I was filled with hope and excitement for the day when my own wedding rolls around. And when Kate stepped out of the Rolls-Royce and we got the first look at her dress I was reminded of an experience that happened to me just last week. I had went with a very dear and close friend to pick up here grad dress at a local bridal boutique. As I stood outside the dressing room waiting for her to try it on I looked around the shop at all the gowns and was overcome with the just how amazing it was that I was there with a friend I had known since birth getting her grad gown. I was sure that we had thought of this day many times when we were younger, I remembered dreaming with her about one day going to the same school. And as I watched dreams from my childhood take form, I looked around the shop at the wedding gowns and started to think about the occasions that were to come in the next seventeen/ eighteen years of our lives... high school graduation, university, graduation from university, marriages, and children. I was overcome with the prospects of the future, and how quickly the last eighteen years have flown by. Her dress was (is) lovely, and as we left the store, garment bag in hand I said isn't it crazy to think that likely in the next ten years we could be back looking for wedding gowns?

{Photo Credit: ACTUStar}

So anyways that was my moment of reminiscence. The Royal Wedding was beautiful and if you didn't watch it live early this morning, I would strongly suggest that you try and catch one of the replays of it later today!



{Photo Credit: abreakingnews}



~Adrianna



 And they all lived Happily Ever After ;D

{Photo Credit: Getty Images}



Early Saturday





{Vancouver Skyline: Dave Rogers}

 

                          Yay, finally the highly anticipated long weekend! I personally am quite enjoying the fact that Easter long did not fall over spring break this year, extra vacation time is always welcomed. My family and I are headed west to the big, rainy, city of glass for what is sure to be a fam jam with the firsties, (some of whom recently returned home from a whirl wind trip to Asia, which I am so stoked to hear all about!).  Well amidst all the celebrations, family, delicious food, chocolate, rabbits, and eggs I am hoping to keep up better blogging habits than I have the past couple days. We will see what comes of that goal. Anyway I leave at 6:00am this morning and I have yet to pack so I best be getting some shut eye. I am sure as the rest of this wonderful Saturday unfolds I will update this post so check back!  

And I will leave you with something fantastic to start, (or finish) your day off with...

                                                                    {Sarah Lamb: Princess Flourine}

A Single Friday's Goodness



{Forgiven ~Thomas Blackshear}



Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.

~Luke 23:46

When I was about 9 or 10 years old my dad had this photo in book mark form. I used to love flipping through his bible just to smell and feel the thin, onion skin pages. On one ocasion I came across the book mark and was completely enchanted with it. Thomas Blackshear manages to caputre in a way that a 9/ 10 year old can understand the complexity of the smiplicity that is devine forgivness. So I hope that this photo speaks some insight, as we prepare for the celebrations of three days!



{Lead me to the Cross ~ Brooke Fraser}

I love this song, and of course all the more at this time of the year!

~Adrianna