Stop Right There

All I have for you today is some song lyrics to ponder, because I know I have been doing exactly that. 

 

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

(Reliant K- Who I am Hates Who I've Been) 

Contradiction.

{photocredithttp://www.callcentrehelper.com/}

I used to say, "it's strange how much can change in just a year," but in reality, it's strange how much can transpire over the course of a year and still very little about our situations change. As humans we walk into the same, or similar situations over and over again throughout different seasons in our lives. The only thing that really changes is the experiences we have behind us when we open the door. The great questions is how do we let those experiences shape, change, and influence our reactions and decisions when we find ourselves in similar situations.
It's strange to think about how much can transpire in a short 366 days (or 365 if it isn't a leap year). How two people can go from being complete strangers with no knowledge of one another's existence, to meeting, and becoming acquainted. Then to becoming friends, best friends; eventually more the friends and then strangers again. Who share nothing but memories, and maybe 
some mutual friends.

"It is not my business what others opinions of me are. It is my business to go to sleep each night confident that I a better person then yesterday." -anonymous 

I don't know just some "food for thought." Funny how life contradicts it self so often, isn't it?
~Adrianna

Enough

{PhotoCredit:Theballerinaproject}

And I'll double knot these untied shoes 

so I can run back,

TRIP

over my past yet again?

NO! This time I've learned, 

learned to step out of the constraints of laces and run forward.

Pointing one pretty toe after the other 

as my feet rebound off the scorching pavement.

To trip over new pot holes rather then the same old familiar ones

sure, it might hurt more...

but how else can I win this race?

More Poems

S-T-O-P

four letters murmured daily 

ignored

when weakness is stronger then strength 

only you will do

and when I try to pull you out

deeper in you dive

setting the rate of my pulse.

will anything change this?

those premature ventricular contractions;

you know, the ones that used to seem cute?

turned out to be just a heart murmurer  

that begs

"please stop"

as it reaches for more. 

Secrets of the Scare.

{Photo Credit: The Ballerina Supremacy}

 

I'm too young for this.

It isn't right

Yet if I continue myself I shall loose in the

Fight

Somehow you got a hold of a simple skiff of skin

Then proceeded to burrow your way in

So deeply entangled in treachery

Dysfunction, disgrace and calamity

feel more like sanity

I can't believe I let this happen

Disgraced the very name

That I used to lace up my heart

Blood drips down my bodice

Spreading its sickly warm grin across my face

Drenched in hot desire

STOP

I should've never lit a fire too large

For my small hands to extinguish

I'd need your help 

That's what scares me

making me cower in my thoughts. 

-Adrianna

A Perfect Monday

Strive for excellence, not perfection.

~H. Jackson Brown Jr., O Magazine, December 2003



{Bolshoi Ballet}
{Photo Credit: Helix}



  When I first glanced at this quote I was initially awestruck by its apparent genius. As dancers we often think about excellence as being an outcome of perfection, perfect lines, perfect feet, perfect turn-out, so I was attracted to the thought/ idea that they could actually be separate terms with less correlation then I always thought.
 However when I really started to think about  the difference between perfection and excellence I got a little flustered, so I turned to my good'ol friend Mr. Dictionary for some advice...

Excellence: the state or quality of excelling or being exceptionally good; extreme merit; superiority

Excellent: exceptionally good; extremely meritorious; superior

Perfection: the state of quality of being or becoming perfect

Perfect: conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type

At this point I thought I understood  the difference between the two, but then I looked up their synonyms...

Synonyms of Excellence: arete, class, distinction, eminence, excellency, finesse, goodness, greatness, high quality, merit, PERFECTION, preeminence, purity, quality, superbness, supremacy, transcendence, virtue, worth, eclat.

Synonyms of Perfection: accomplishment, achieving, acme, arete, completion, consummation, crown, ending, entireness,evolution,exactness, EXCELLENCE, excellency, exquisiteness, faultlessness, finish, finishing, fulfillment, ideal, idealism, impeccability, integrity, maturity, merit, paragon, perfectness, phoenix, precision, purity, realization, ripeness, sublimity, superiority, supremacy, transcendence, virtue, wholeness.

And now I am even more confused then when I began. The definitions suggest that Excellence is being the best within ones own limits, and that Perfection is being the best within a certain ideal. The synonyms however suggest that they have the same/ very smillar meanings. I sat and thought about this for quite sometime, and I have come to this conclusion....
 As people we all judge ourselves by some standard, a standard that we see as being perfect. A person might look to a movie star, or their older sibling, or maybe as it is in ballet a person might judge themselves by an abstract idea of perfection that is ultimately unattainable. Poeple so closely correlate excellence with perfection, that it is not possible to think of something as being excellent without it being near to or perfect. Anyway that is my psycho-babble for this Monday.

On that note here are some things/ people I consider to be the absolute embodiment of perfection....





{Splendid Isolation: ABT.}





{Overwhelmed Aster Dress: Anthropolgie}





{Audrey Hepburn}
{ Photo Credit: Listall}





{Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir}
{photo credit: Myra Clarman}



Starting With A Plie.




Photo Credit: http://site.e.K.Clothing.com



    For  a while now I have had "the blog willy nillies", (I've been wanting to start blogging, but my lack of  free-time and ideas has left me somewhat unsure of how to begin). As I type my way onto unfamiliar territory today I have chosen to commence from a very familiar starting place; a plie. 

In ballet the plie though rudimentary transfers across all levels and styles. Upon thinking about the plie, I tried to compile a list of like things that pertain not to ballet but rather to life, (although for me a plie could probably be on that list ;D). In doing so I realized the reason my life has been a big mess of stress is because my "plies" are not there to support me when I leap into life's "grade-jetes". With this epiphany at the forefront of my brain I "went back to the barre" and came up with a plan, (and yes this blog is part of it).  I wrote up my standard weekly schedule, and aloted time to focus on all my "plies", (school work, relationships with family and friends, myself and my health). Things that I have not spent enough time on in the past. I looked all this over and set my main goal for the remainder of this year; DISCIPLINE.

 So as I explore new things, develop new opinions, and squeeze every last bit of zest out of all the lemons life gives me, I hope this blog will serve as an outlet to share with you my journey.

~Adrianna